On life

A life is a life is a life
So little
Yet so important
We have no idea of how many seconds worth we have
But each second’s worth?

I want to believe life is joy and glory
That life is sun and the dew kissed grass in the mornings
That life is smiling at a present
Or laughing with your friends at some trivial joke

But life is also death and farewells
A cruel twist in a fabric
That changes our perspective in one, vindictive tug
A wave washes up on shore
The wind howls and the trees moan
And a life ebbs away

Our time here is not long
But neither is it short
Our time here may not mean anything much
But neither is it meaningless

A life is a life is a life
So little in time and reach
But so important too
Because
At the end of each day
With all our clocks running down
One by one

All any of us can ever do
Is not wait for the end
Or god forbid,

Hasten it.

To all those who step forth out of fear, anxiety and pain. 

Words and sighs

A solitary sigh
And you’ve got your story
One breath is all it takes
For it all to spill out

It’s so simple though isn’t it?
No words, no delicate choosing
Between ‘appropriate’ and ‘fitting’
Exhale and let it all out

It’s not unlike the start of a song
Only the start mind
When that lone note sets the tone
For the entire piece that follows
Though the rubbish in the middle ruins it

Just stop
With the sigh
Say no more
I don’t want to hear it.

The Girl Who Cried

mourning-360500_1280

It was a monument to her sadness
Something to remember her tears and gasps by
For when’s she’s gone
There’s naught left

Who can keep in mind her vivacious laughs?
Or her quiet courage?
Her delicate kindness and generosity?

But all you remember are her tears
And that’s all you want to remember
Not her complete self
Not even half
But a small inch

She may have cried loud tears
Tears that shook a nation
Unsettled a continent
Moved a king
Raised a thousand ships in protest
But they were just tears
In a moment of great sorrow
And shame even
And I doubt she wants to be remembered thus.

Not as the girl who tried, failed, tried, failed
Yet tried again and then finally succeeded in her own
Quiet way
But as the Girl Who Cried.

He killed himself

She is running
She doesn’t give a damn about the hot sun
Or the sweat on her forehead
So what if the temperature is stuck at a summer high?
That isn’t what she wants to be
Stuck
But she hears the door slam behind her
They’re coming for her
“DON’T DRAG ME BACK THERE”
She wants to scream
But she can’t
Her mouth is burning
And the smoke she drinks with relish
Is now choking her
How could those little cigarettes betray her like this?
She loved them
Oh how she loved them
And here they are
CHOKING HER!
She’s been here forever
Since the days long ago
When her mama caned her
And her papas beat her
When the wind was alive
And the water ran
When the skies were full of dark anger
And the ground so rebellious
That’s why she’s running

It’s all lost
The life she’s led
Where’s it all gone now?
A suicide in the family
And all hell breaks loose
You can’t down a few poppers in peace anymore
To drown out the noise
And the boredom

She can’t keep running much longer now
Oh she has space
The Plains go on forever
But she’s old and not
What she was twenty years ago
Her shoes,
so carefully preserved for so long ,
Are cutting her viciously
At the ankles
BETRAYAL

And she falls to the ground
Lost, in a daze and the music stops.

She

her face was just a crack
a study in sorrow
once full of joy and heart
now sunken and depressed into itself

She wasn’t old
a creature of youth and great beauty was She
but such depth in Her eyes
and oceans of feeling in Her smiles

Her long fingers were graceful and elegant
fragile
and in their fragility hinted at Her core
about to shatter

but believe me when I say
She was strong
so many demons and evils did She face
and not one conquered Her
though each left a mark on Her

what do they say now? 
scars heal? 
no, wounds heal and scars remain
although for Her,
Her skin is still Her skin
Her face still Hers
not for Her a disfigured atrocity

yet you see the scars
like the permanent scorch of an intense fire
or the insidious slice of a sly knife
they’re there
under layer and layer of…
what?
She does not hide
She does not seclude herself

She is strong.
She is brave
She is weak
She is frightened

She is beautiful
yet so full of scars is She

The Apology: Part Six

She felt him.

She now felt periodic kicks and tugs inside. And they calmed her. Reassured her. It told her that the baby was still healthy.
What others would have bemoaned as pain and hurt from a tiresome little worrier, she welcomed. 

But there were still days when the cold fear gripped her hard. 

The day she lost control of her right hand frightened her so much that for weeks after it returned to normal she kept waking up in the middle of the night, checking and rechecking that it was unharmed.

The day her hair fell, she cried and cried and cried. She’d loved her hair. It was vain of her to do so. To attach so much to such a simplistic part of herself when many around her were dying in droves.

For the The Plague still continued its deadly rampage. Those who hadn’t succumbed to it had died of poverty and starvation. Shops closed, streets fell into disrepair all on their own for absolutely no visible reason.

It was quite perplexing to be honest. As if The Plague was sucking up the very lifeblood of the Earth. Not just affecting the people but nature too. 

But today Elena was happy. Chris had finally gotten a new job. After months of doggedly searching and chasing, he’d landed a small position as a clerk at the District Council Building. The pay was poor and the hours long but it was better than nothing. And Philippa’s penny-a-week helped. Barely.

She sometimes hated herself. Elena. To be so helpless when everyone was working so hard. She was so unused to all this laying around and not doing anything. Hers weren’t the idle ways. 
But she could not do much. Lifting an empty pail off the ground made her spine crackle like that of a wizened old now and by now, she’d realized. 

Staying still and bored, she was in much less pain and of much less pain to others.